


What Is It Good For

by Anon (wickednotevil)



Category: Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger
Genre: Fivesome, Humor, Multi, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-25
Updated: 2011-09-25
Packaged: 2017-10-24 00:38:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/256905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickednotevil/pseuds/Anon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gai sees no sign his sentai team is having sex with each other. This is a problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Is It Good For

**Author's Note:**

> Cultural misunderstandings are so much fun between aliens. Otherwise known as ‘I know they’re all having sex but how can I get Gai involved’.  
> Written for the object of much tumblr stalking.

Gai doesn't get it.

They're a sentai team, his bunch of pirates, and an established one at that. It's not like they're a bunch of strangers brought together to serve as retainers for their lord, knowing nothing about each other and simply thrown together by a combination of fate and longstanding family tradition, although in fairness that did work out for the Shinkengers.

They live together, fight together, spend their free time together...so why hasn't he seen any sign they're having sex? Everyone knows sentai teams sleep together.

Gai remembers being a teenager and thinking that was the whole _point_ of having a team, although that line of thought had tapered off as the years went by and Gai discovered masturbation, though enjoyable on occasion, was _messy_ and sex by all accounts was even more so. He took it as a sign that he really was destined to be part of a sentai team and that he’d be more interested once his team showed up, so that in the mean time he could work hard to be a good friend who kept everyone’s spirits up and didn’t need to concern himself overly with dating, and threw himself into the role wholeheartedly.

So where’s the kissing? The necking? The _orgies_?

Saving the world is all well and good, but how are they meant to be an effective fighting force if they’re not at least swapping spit on a regular basis. It’s just not right.

Every time they meet past sentai members Gai worries they can see the lack of intimacy between them and tries to cover it up with as much enthusiasm as possible. He can’t expect aliens to know the most fundamental rule of sentai teams after all but he does wonder how they made it this far without discovering the team-building power of sex.

Obviously he’s going to have to talk them round to this slowly, start off just getting two of them together and work his way round to the rest. Don-san and Ahim-san would probably be the easiest to play matchmaker for as they occasionally listened to his suggestions, and it was all for a good cause…

Gai nodded to himself, briefly thinking about a ‘Eureka!’ pose before deciding it would look too similar to his GokaiSilver henshin pose and that was the more important one. He had a plan. He, Ikari Gai, would match-make his teammates together and turn them into a proper sentai team that people could be proud of!

 

+++

 

“Gai-san seems very enthusiastic,” Ahim said suddenly.

Marvelous groaned at the interruption of his afterglow and rolled off the bed to go get wet towels for cleanup. Joe got this _look_ if Marvelous didn’t wipe up properly ever since he got dried come stuck in his hair. It’d been a long time ago but some things were too traumatic to forget. Marvelous hadn’t known people _could_ withhold sex that long. 

Luka stuck her head of out the bathroom and almost collided with Marvelous.

“He’s too enthusiastic, Ahim! Who cares about all those teams and names and things so long as we still get the Greatest Treasure?” Luka said. She wrapped a towel loosely round her wet hair- always the first in the shower, Marvelous privately thought she liked it quick and dirty just so she got all the hot water- and pushed past him heading back into the bedroom.

She sat at Ahim’s feet as she slowly uncurled from around Joe and tilted her head back.

“Help me dry my hair?” she asked.

Ahim smiled and nodded, taking hold of the towel and gently rubbing away the moisture.

“But Gai-san does seem to know an awful lot about the grand powers,” Doc said, pushing open the door with one foot and holding out trays of food with both hands. “Snacks?”

“Food!” Marvelous and Joe zeroed in and stole the platters off of Don before retreating with them to the bed.

“No crumbs in the sheets,” Ahim admonished, still massaging the water from Luka’s hair.

Marvelous rolled his eyes but moved to the chair, dragging Don onto his lap once he stepped within reach. Hand feeding his crew could be fun too; maybe his afterglow wasn’t completely ruined.

“What were you saying about Gai-san, Doc?” Luka asked, snuggling back against Ahim and smirking at Joe as she stole the plate. “He’s just an idiot; he doesn’t understand anything about pirates.”

“That seems to be true,” Don admitted, “But he is helpful when it comes to finding grand powers.”

“No-one understands Navi’s predictions like Gai-san,” Ahim nodded.

Luka snorted. “How’s that any help? We always worked them out before he came along.”

Ahim smiled at her, plucked the plate from her hands and handed it back to Joe. Luka huffed and stole Don from Marvelous instead.

“But with Gai here we do work things out a lot faster,” Don said.

“He’s a good fighter,” Joe grunted.

“You think so too?” Ahim cooed and clapped her hands. “Then it’s decided.”

“What?” Marvelous shook himself out of his post-snack laziness “No, it’s not. What were we deciding?”

“To include Gai-san more in the crew, of course,” Ahim said. The smile was heavenly and in it Marvelous could read his doom.

“We do include him!  He’s crew!” Marvelous objected. He could feel a sinking sense of inevitability about where this was going.

Ahim primly sipped at the cup of tea that had materialised from nowhere. Oh, yeah. He was sure he wouldn’t like this.

 

Seeing the beginning of another argument between Marvelous and Ahim the others congregated back on the bed, settling in to watch.

“20 on Ahim,” Luka whispered.

“No bet,” Joe told her.

“Ahim always wins,” Don nodded.  

 

“You never told him he was welcome in your cabin.”

“That doesn’t mean you lot can’t!”

“Marvelous, you know we wouldn’t approach him without your approval, and you haven’t even kissed the boy yet,” Luka called out.

“B-but he snores!” Marvelous shouted, finally cracking. “The sex would be fine, and he might finally shut up and put that mouth to good use, but I’m not sleeping with that racket in the same bed as me after!”

Marvelous crossed his legs and glared at the bulkhead to avoid seeing at the reproachful looks he could feel from his crew. He gave up after a minute and sneaked a quick look.

It was worse than he feared. Ahim was frowning.

Marvelous could feel his resolve crumbling.

“Make more of an effort in future, Marvelous,” Ahim implored.

Don nodded and added, “We don’t want him to feel left out.”

The puppy eyes were overkill, Marvelous thought and tried to resist the urge to pet him.

“Well, we can’t all be perfect,” Luka told him, “But he deserves a chance to show us what he’s made of.”

“He’s crew,” was all Joe said but his eyes spoke volumes about promises, ties closer than family, and withholding sex if he fucked this up.

Sometimes a crew was nothing but bother.

 

+++

 

“You guys are having sex?!” Gai yelled, face a mess of emotions too deeply _Gai_ to understand.

Don nodded shyly. “Do you mind?”

“Mind?” Gai repeated incredulously, volume increasing even more until he ended on a squeak and had to pause to breathe in again.

Luka glared and cocked her hip. ‘Do you have a problem with that?’ she went to say when she was interrupted by Gai’s whoop and fist pump.

“Thank goodness! I’m so glad!” Gai grinned, clapping her on the shoulder. He ruffled Don’s hair, said his congratulations to both Ahim and Joe, mad grin on his face the whole time.

Luka looked around wildly at the others, this wasn’t just her, this was weird right? They’d come across loads of different cultures on their travels, but people were never this relieved to hear five people were in a committed sexual relationship. Apart from some of the Zangyack officers with kinkier tastes, but those meetings usually involved chains and whips and ended in someone getting their head blown off, and therefore didn’t count. Marvelous got really angry whenever that happened.

Gai finally made his way round to the captain’s chair.

“Marvelous-san,” Gai said, leaning in close and looking more serious than Luka could remember seeing him outside of battle with Zangyack. “I’m so proud of you.”

“… _Eh_?”

 

+++

 

“You can join us in our cabin from now on,” Marvelous said, jerking a thumb towards the door. His tone was nonchalant but eagerness bled through in his posture and he tried not to shift in anticipation.

“Oh, Marvelous-san.”

Gai looked surprised. Did he not realise this was what today’s revelations had been aimed towards? Finally the crew all together where they belonged.

“Are you coming?” he managed to sound offhand even as his cock stirred at the thought of _all_ his crew curled around him writhing and twisting in bliss.

“No tonight, Marvelous-san,” Gai told him. “I’ve got work to go through instead. But I’ll be sure to be in once I’ve finished up so we can all get a good night’s sleep together!”

 

Gai grinned happily at him and patted him on the arm like a maiden aunt. Marvelous wondered if it was too late to rescind Gai’s invitation to join the ship.


End file.
